Author Archives: QASuper

One day a man decided to retire…

He booked himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life, that is, until the ship sank.  He soon found himself on an island with no other people, no supplies, nothing, only bananas and coconuts. … Continue reading

Posted in Jokes, Relationships | Comments Off on One day a man decided to retire…

Tonsils vs Circumcision …

Two little boys are in the hospital for an operation next day. The older boy leans over and asks, “What are you having done?” The second boy says, “I’m getting my tonsils out, and I’m afraid.” The first boy says, … Continue reading

Posted in Jokes | Comments Off on Tonsils vs Circumcision …

Helpful Hints!!!

Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop. Avoid arguments with the females about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink. For high blood pressure sufferers ~ simply cut yourself … Continue reading

Posted in Jokes | Comments Off on Helpful Hints!!!

Things you won’t hear a southern boy say…

29. I’ll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex. 28. Duct tape won’t fix that. 27. Come to think of it, I’ll have a Heineken 26. We don’t keep firearms in this house. 25. You can’t feed that to the dog. 24. … Continue reading

Posted in Jokes | Comments Off on Things you won’t hear a southern boy say…

Maximo Hierarchies Report

I went through several options on making Location Hierarchy Reports, and found these queries to be quite beneficial. The code is different, depending on the backend being Oracle or Microsoft. Oracle select level, lpad (‘ ‘, 8 * (level – … Continue reading

Posted in Maximo, Maximo-5, Maximo-6, Maximo-7, Oracle, SQL, SQL Server (M$) | Comments Off on Maximo Hierarchies Report

50 Shades

He was in ecstasy, with a huge smile on his face, as his wife moved forwards, then backwards, forward, then backwards again ……. back and forth ….. back and forth ….. in and out ….. in and out. She could … Continue reading

Posted in Jokes, Relationships | Comments Off on 50 Shades

EMBARRASSING MEDICAL EXAMS

A man comes into the ER and yells . . .”My wife’s going to have her baby in the cab.” I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady’s dress and began to take off her underwear. … Continue reading

Posted in Jokes | Comments Off on EMBARRASSING MEDICAL EXAMS

It’s Not Working

The wife left a note on our fridge … “It’s not working!!  I can’t take it anymore, I’ve gone to stay at my Mom’s!!” I opened the fridge, the light came on, and the Beer was cold … God only … Continue reading

Posted in Relationships | Comments Off on It’s Not Working

To Stay or Go

My wife was screaming at me: “Leave! Get out of this house!” she ordered. As I was walking out the door she yelled, “I hope you die a slow and painful death!” So I turned around and replied, “So now … Continue reading

Posted in Relationships | Comments Off on To Stay or Go

SQL Server Named Instance Port

When you need to connect to a SQL Server that has a Named Instance, and your application is not capable, don’t lose hope. You can find the PORT for the named instance in the Windows Registry under: HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE\SOFTWARE\Microsoft\Microsoft SQL Server\[Instance … Continue reading

Posted in SQL Server (M$) | Comments Off on SQL Server Named Instance Port