Category Archives: Jokes
When Old People Leave an Occupation
Old accountants never die, they just lose their balance.Old actors never die, they just drop apart.Old archers never die, they just bow and quiver.Old architects never die, they just lose their structures.Old bankers never die, they just lose interest.Old basketball … Continue reading
Break’s Over
A rather bad man dies and meets Satan in a room with three doors. Satan explains, “I have good news and bad news. The bad news is that you have to spend eternity behind one of these doors. But, the … Continue reading
THE OSTRICH!
A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The waitress asks them for their orders. The man says, “A hamburger, fries and a coke,” and turns to the ostrich, “What’s yours?” “I’ll have the same,” says … Continue reading
Too Drunk to Know!
A drunk staggers into a Catholic Church, enters a confessional booth, sits down, but says nothing. The Priest coughs a few times to get his attention but the drunk continues to sit there. Finally, the Priest pounds three times on … Continue reading
Last Wishes
Mary Clancy goes up to Father O’Grady after his Sunday morning service, and she’s in tears. He says, “So what’s bothering you, Mary my dear?” She says, “Oh, Father, I’ve got terrible news. My husband passed away last night.” The … Continue reading
Shamus is Dead!
Brenda O’Malley is home making dinner, as usual, when Tim Finnegan arrives at her door. “Brenda, may I come in?” he asks. “I’ve somethin’ to tell ya”. “Of course you can come in, you’re always welcome, Tim. But where’s my … Continue reading
I Didn’t Hear Anything
An Irishman who had a little too much to drink is driving home from the city one night and, of course, his car is weaving violently all over the road. So a cop pulls him over. “So,” says the cop … Continue reading
Useless in a Fight
Into a Belfast pub comes Paddy Murphy, looking like he’d just been run over by a train. His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken, His face is cut and bruised and he’s walking with a limp. “What … Continue reading
Comments Made in the Year 1955!
I’ll tell you one thing, if things keep going the way they are, it’s going to be impossible to buy a week’s groceries for $10.00. Have you seen the new cars coming out next year? It won’t be long before … Continue reading
Rye Bread
Two old guys, one 80 and one 87, were sitting on a park bench one morning. The 87-year-old had just finished his morning jog and wasn’t even short of breath. The 80-year-old was amazed at the guy’s stamina and asked … Continue reading