Category Archives: Jokes
Helpful Hints!!!
Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop. Avoid arguments with the females about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink. For high blood pressure sufferers ~ simply cut yourself … Continue reading
Things you won’t hear a southern boy say…
29. I’ll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex. 28. Duct tape won’t fix that. 27. Come to think of it, I’ll have a Heineken 26. We don’t keep firearms in this house. 25. You can’t feed that to the dog. 24. … Continue reading
50 Shades
He was in ecstasy, with a huge smile on his face, as his wife moved forwards, then backwards, forward, then backwards again ……. back and forth ….. back and forth ….. in and out ….. in and out. She could … Continue reading
EMBARRASSING MEDICAL EXAMS
A man comes into the ER and yells . . .”My wife’s going to have her baby in the cab.” I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady’s dress and began to take off her underwear. … Continue reading
It’s Not Working
The wife left a note on our fridge … “It’s not working!! I can’t take it anymore, I’ve gone to stay at my Mom’s!!” I opened the fridge, the light came on, and the Beer was cold … God only … Continue reading
To Stay or Go
My wife was screaming at me: “Leave! Get out of this house!” she ordered. As I was walking out the door she yelled, “I hope you die a slow and painful death!” So I turned around and replied, “So now … Continue reading
Things That WIll Disappear SOON!
Whether these changes are good or bad Depends in part on how we adapt to them. But, ready or not, here they come…. The Check Britain is already laying the groundwork to do away with checks by 2018. It costs … Continue reading
Anger Management
When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don’t take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don’t know, but you know deserves it. I … Continue reading
A$$HOLE
A police motorcycle cop stops a driver for running a red light. The driver is a real jerk, steps out of his car and comes striding toward the officer, demanding to know why he is being harassed by the Gestapo! … Continue reading
Murphy’s Lesser Known Laws
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. He who laughs last, thinks slowest. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. Those who live by the sword, get shot by … Continue reading