Monthly Archives: July 2011
Notes From The Edge of Life
Dear Noah, We could have sworn you said the ark wasn’t leaving till 5. Sincerely, Unicorns ___________________________________________________________ Dear Twilight fans, Please realize that because vampires are dead and have no blood pumping through them, they can never get an erection. … Continue reading
Marriage Counseling
After 40 years of marriage, a husband and wife came for counseling.
When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a passionate, painful tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the years they had been married.
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Can You Get Married in Heaven?
On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple is involved in a fatal car accident. The couple find themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. Continue reading
Two Lawyers
Two lawyers had been stranded on a desert island for several months. The only thing on the island was a tall coconut tree that provided them their only food. Each day one of the lawyers would climb to the top to see if he could spot a rescue boat coming. Continue reading
What is Celibacy?
Celibacy can be a choice in life, or a condition imposed by circumstances. While attending a Marriage Weekend, Frank and his wife Nancy listened to the instructor declare, It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are … Continue reading
The Reverend!
At the regular Sunday morning service, Rev. Roberto announced that he was planning to leave for a larger church that would pay him more. There is a hush within the congregation. No one wants him to leave, because he is … Continue reading
Pissing & Moaning
A New Jersey farm wife called the local phone company to report her telephone failed to ring when her friends called – and that on the few occasions, when it did ring, her dog always moaned right before the phone … Continue reading
Learning to Speak English
A Priest was about to finish his tour of duty, and was leaving his Mission in the jungle where he has spent years teaching the natives when he realizes that the one thing he never taught them was how to speak English.
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Marriage Humor
Wife: ‘What are you doing?’ Husband: ‘Nothing.’ Wife: ‘Nothing…? You’ve been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.’ Husband: ‘I was looking for the expiration date.’ ——————————- Wife: ‘Do you want dinner?’ Husband: ‘What are my choices?’ Wife: ‘Yes or … Continue reading
Confession
An elderly man walks into a confessional. Continue reading