Monthly Archives: July 2011
Donation
Father O’Malley answers the phone. ‘Hello, is this Father O’Malley?’ ‘It is!’ ‘This is the IRS. Can you help us?’ ‘I can!’ ‘Do you know a Ted O’Houlihan?’ ‘I do!’ ‘Is he a member of your congregation?’ ‘He is!’ ‘Did … Continue reading
Looks of Disappointment
A man was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, ‘You’re beautiful.’ Then he fell asleep again. Continue reading
Lemon Squeeze
There once was a religious young woman who went to Confession. Upon entering the confessional, she said, ‘Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.’ The priest said, ‘Confess your sins and be forgiven.’ The young woman said, ‘Last night my … Continue reading
Almost!
A married Irishman went into the confessional and said to his priest, ‘I almost had an affair with another woman.’ The priest said, ‘What do you mean, almost?’ Continue reading
The Pilot and the Priest
A priest dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates. Ahead of him is a guy who’s dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket and jeans.
Saint Peter addresses this cool guy, “Who are you, so that I may know whether or not to admit you to the Kingdom of Heaven?” Continue reading
The Redhead
A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He has been checking her out since he sat down, but lacks the nerve to talk with her. Continue reading