Why isn’t the number 11 pronounced onety-one?
If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea…does that mean that one out of five enjoys it?
If people from Poland are called Poles, then why aren’t people from Holland called Holes?
Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car is not called a racist?
If it’s true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, then doesn’t it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
What hair color do they put on the driver’s licenses of bald men?
I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use, toothpicks?
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don’t they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?
Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?
Why, Why, Why do we press harder on the remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?
Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard?
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
Why did Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Whose cruel idea was it to put an “s” in the word “lisp”?
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
And A FAVORITE:
The statistics on sanity say that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they’re OK..? (then it’s you!)
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REMEMBER, A day without a smile is like a day without sunshine!
And a day without sunshine is, like…well……night!!!!